What Sarah Said
by A Lyrical Dreamer
Summary: "And it came to him then, that every plan was a tiny prayer to father time". Chuck sits in the waiting room, thinking of Sarah and the things she once said to him. Based on the song by Death Cab for Cutie. Present for downriversandroads on Tumblr.


Chuck waited uncomfortably in the waiting room of the hospital, staring at his shoes and leaving the old TV to entertain no one but itself. His leg bounced up and down and his hands just couldn't keep from fiddling. They ran through his hair, over his thighs, with his watch, and with anything else that would keep him from this moment.

He took a deep breath to calm himself down, taking in the smell of the ICU as he did; urine and disinfectant filled his lungs. It wasn't a pleasant smell, but then again, nothing about hospitals was pleasant.

He shook his head a few times then slowed his bresathing, rationing his breaths; he'd already taken too much today. It wasn't fair that he could breathe as he wished, in and out, while Sarah still struggled in her hospital bed, each descending peak on the LCD taking her a little farther away from him. Not fair at all.

He glanced around at what was around him, vending machines and year old magazines filled the space where he shouldn't even be; the place where people only say goodbye. And the moment, that thought, it stung him, as he cursed himself that all he had was a faulty camera in his mind to keep Sarah alive should Volkov- no, Hartley Winterbottom- fail to develop the antidote.

At that moment, Ellie came around and each person waiting in that small, cursed place, lifted their heads hopefully, bracing for bad news but desperately hoping it would be good. Except for Chuck, who stared with eyes glazed over into the ground, thinking desperately of what Sarah had once said to him.

 _"Vows: 99 questions to make your vows heartfelt and true." Sarah read the title of the book in disbelief over her fiancés shoulder. Startled by her presence, Chuck jumped a little in his seat and quickly buried the book under a newspaper._

 _"Hi, honey, when did, I didn't know, when did you get home?" he finally managed to stammer before pecking her on the lips._

 _"Just then." She pulled up a chair next to him and uncovered the book from its less than adequate hiding place. "Dr Fred," she read, scanning the cover. "Dr Fred? Isn't he that 101 conversations before I do guy?"_

 _"Yes, and like then, his books are very helpful," Chuck explained._

 _Sarah flipped the book over and read the blurb out loud. "To help you write your vows, answer these questions to yourself and use your answers to help you craft your perfect wedding vows." She looked up at Chuck. "You're having trouble with your vows?" she asked him with caring concern in her voice._

 _Chuck hesitated, worried that he might give Sarah the wrong idea. "I love you so much, but putting it into words, a declaration, a vow, like that-"_

 _"It's impossible!" she finished for him enthusiastically. She knew exactly what he meant and was over the moon that he understood._

 _"Exactly! Does this mean you're worried about your vows too?" he asked hopefully._

 _"Of course I am," she replied quickly and Chuck let out a sigh of relief; oh, how he loved this woman. "How am I supposed to summarise how much you mean to me?"_

 _"Well, Dr Fred, suggests," Chuck gestured to the book, "that you pick three questions from his list and use those answers to form you vows."_

 _Gently, Chuck took the book off her and flicked over to a random page and read the first question that caught his eye. "When did you know you were going to marry your partner?"_

 _"Well," Sarah licked her lip as she considered the question. "The second I found out you didn't complete your Red Test."_

 _"Really?" Chuck asked in awe._

 _"Yes, I knew I loved you long before that but that moment, that's when I knew you were my Chuck and that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you." She looked lovingly into his eyes and leant closer to him. Then, a split second later, she leant back. "But that's hardly appropriate for a church full of civilians," she reminded him._

 _"True," he nodded slowly._

 _"Your turn."_

 _"Okay, well, I first knew I was going to marry you when I proposed to you, the first time," he smiled reminiscently, "when we were running away on the train after Paris."_

 _"Really?" Her face lit up, and her cheeks grew red in awe. Chuck nodded softly. "Okay, next question."_

 _"What kind of future do you want to build with your partner?"_

 _Sarah didn't wait to answer this time. "One of happiness, and joy, and adventure. One with something I never thought I wanted before you, Chuck. A family. I want a family, I want that to be our adventure."_

 _Softly, Chuck took her hand in his and stroked it softly. "I, I want to grow old with you, Sarah. I want to be there with you for all the adventures we have, big and small. I want to have a family with you, I want to live my life, with you, Sarah Walker."_

 _Tears pricking at her eyes, Sarah cleared her throat and wiped the tears from her eyes. She leant forward and kissed him with all of her love. "One more question?" she asked as she pulled away._

 _Clearing his throat, Chuck read the next question on the list. "What is love?"_

 _Once again, Sarah pondered. "I think," she began, then paused. "I think love is watching someone die."_

 _Chuck let out a slight laugh. "Well that's gotta be the most depressing explanation of love I've ever heard," he joked and she smiled back at him._

 _"No, I mean, it's going through life with them, and living your life with them to the very end. Trusting them, that you'll stay with each other, that you love each other to the very end with no regrets. That's what love is to me, Chuck."_

"Chuck," Ellie beckoned softly. "Chuck," she tried again. Taking in a sharp breath, Chuck pulled himself from the comfort of his memories and looked up at his sister. "Chuck, the antidote's ready."

Chuck nodded at her and stood up slowly, thinking cautiously to himself that he wasn't going to watch Sarah die. Not today. They had too much living to do together first.


End file.
